beauty.

could it really be a whole month since i checked this? wow. i have a ton of blogs to catch up on with my friends and family.

anywhooo I just started reading captivating. A quick clip i wanted to share.

"Every woman has a beauty to unveil. Every woman. Because she bears the image of God. She doesn't have to conjure it, go get it from a salon, have plastic surgury or breast implants. No, beauty is an essence that is given to every woman at her creation."

"We didnt say that a woman is prized only for her good looks. We did not say that a woman is here merely to complete a man, therefore a single women is somehow missing her destiny. What we said was, first, that Eve is the crown of creation. There is something uniquely magnificent and powerful about a woman. We tried to reveal the immeasureable dignity, the holiness of your feminine heart by showing that it is GOD who longs for romance, it is GOD who longs to be our ezer, it is GOD who reveals beauty as essential to live. You are the image bearer of this God. That is why you long for those things too.. THERE IS A RADIANCE HIDDEN IN YOUR HEART THAT THE WORLD DESPERATELY NEEDS."

Kabam.

I am beautiful. You are beautiful. The world desperately needs our beauty.

BAPTIZIM! :)

Last night, I was baptized in the name of the Father, the son, the holy spirit by one of my best friends Katie Sweeney.

Words really cannot even come close to describe my emotions, thoughts, feelings and so on... 7 people including myself were baptized last night at the last Younglife Leadership meeting. Praise God!

What an amazing feeling to witness Christ in so many people...not only could I feel Christ, but I could see Him pouring out of the eyes and smiles of the baptizimers. Love was truely evident last night.

I stand by what I said last night, too long I have been talking the talk...I want to walk the walk.

God gave me life. And I will live my life for you.

made new

Im getting baptized tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

God hear our prayers

Hear our cries Lord,
Hear our prayers
Take our burdens
Calm our fears

God will you make us
A people that love you
Please take our offering
That we set before You
God hear our prayers
That we're lifting up to You
God see our tears
That we're struggling to see through
God, hear our prayers to You

In our weakness,
You remain
When we're broken
You sustain

God will you make us
A people that love you
Please take our offerings
That we set before you
God hear our prayers
We're lifting them up to you
God see our tears
That we're struggling to see through

God hear our prayers
We lift them to you.
God hear our prayers
Lord make our hearts true
Will you make our hearts true?

Hear our prayers Lord

God will you make us
A people that love You
Please take our offerings
That we set before you
God hear our prayers
That we're lifting up to You
God see our tears
That were struggling to see through
God hear our prayers
As we lift them to heaven
We're praying that angels
Receive and embrace them
The hopes of the empty
The cries of the broken
We're reaching our hands out
Oh Lord will You hold them?


God hear our prayers. We are crying out to you. God we might not understand your plans, but hear ours prayers. And we will continue to pray. So God hear our prayers. Were lifting them up to you.

Talents

Matthew 25:14-30.

As I lay here, and listen to my friend's amazing piano and singing on myspace, the parable of the talents came to mind. Matthew 25:14-30.

We are all given talents from God, and it is up to us how we use it. Some may be small, or great, but its important is when we use those talents, we glorify God. God is happiest when we use these talents with passion.

I am surrounded by so many talented, gifted people in my life. I could go on forever, but to give two examples;

My friend, Josh Dadd, recently moved to Nashville, TN, embracing his passion and gift of music. When you listen, you can hear his passion screaming out it in his voice and every time he presses a piano key. http://www.myspace/jdaddband

My Grandma, who recently wrote a book, embracing her passion of God and family through her talent of stories and writing. You can read and feel her love pouring through the pages
I could go on all night about all the people in my life who are ever so talented in so many ways.

One thing i know is that my friends were given the talent to put up with me!! Am I ever greatful for their talents of love, friendship, smiles, laughter, tears, dreams, goals, etc etc ect. I wish I could share about them all, post pictures of them all, but i really dont have enough time or space :) Too many people in my life I love!!!! For now i praise them for gifts, and how many of them use their gifts for the glory of God. What great examples they are to me. :) I love you. :)

Hows your love life?

I was just recently asked how my love life was. HA. what love life? :) and this person went on about dating, ect ect and im thinking UGH. Yet again another reminder that I am single, dont have a boyfriend, not married, etc. And what an unfair question "hows your love life??" is.

BUT the way I really want to reply is ... its amazing and great. I have friends and family I see and talk to on a weekly basis that I LOVE and cant ever get enough of and just not enough time to see. I am creating new and continuing old relationships and am daily surrounded by people i LOVE. Every day at work, I spread my LOVE to children with my passion of dentisty and the gifts God gave me. At wyldlife, leadership..ect ect. everywhere I go, I have LOVE in my life.

So asking how my love life is, in my opinion, is an unfair question. :) I may not have a boyfriend or a husband or whatever, but I can tell you there sure are people in my life that i feel LOVE and FRIENDSHIP with, which reminds me daily why God is so good. And God has plans and purpose for me. Someday my man will come, God willing. But for now, it poses the question, "I am feeling the love? Am I spreading the love?? Truely...how is YOUR love life??"

"This is what I tell you to do: Love each other just as I have loved you. No one can have greater love than to give his life for his friends." -John 15:12-13

heart so full :)

today is one of those days I dont want to end. :) Went to church, had a great running buddy, FINALLY gave a friend her christmas present, relaxed at home, had dinner with my teammate and had a BLAST at wyldlife club. and now i just got done eating a 3 minute cake with my roommates.

check out www.dizzy-dee.com/recipe/chocolate-cake-in-5-minutes. SOOOO cool!!!!

My heart is so full at this moment. :)

when the crazzies of tomorrow come, I will think of the joyous moments i had today adn how beautiful the sun is when it shines. and i look forward to hangin out with some wyldlife girls at we the kings concert tomorrow! :) YES

Today's bible verse came up and i wanted to share it.

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; it leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." -Jeremiah 17:7-8

I love you too.

God is love.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."
--1 John 4:7-8

"We love, because he FIRST loved us." -1 John 4:19

God IS love. I may not fully know what love is, but the more I am reading and learning, I feel closer to God, and coming closer to understanding the word. There is so much I dont know about God, but there is one thing I do know....that God loves me, and loves ALL.

We often use the word love in daily conversation.."I love that movie." or even "I love riding bikes." The definition we think of love is NOWHERE near the kind of love Jesus has for us, that we sometimes cant understand how much He truely loves us. I can easily name people who are in my life that I love. And one could ask, how do you know? And you could says words, but really, you can just feel it. An unexplainable emotion. One thing too I know is that God has someone here for me, someday, in His time and His will. However, no one, no one, could ever compare to God's love, and the evergrowing love I have towards Christ. He forever will be my number one.

As i sit, I wonder...why do I love Jesus? And I wonder how many times the word LOVE is used in the bible? I am sure the word love is used plenty, because Jesus so portrays and expresses love. Love seriously should be our top priority in all we do.

One huge thing too that I praise God by saying I love you God, but I really should be saying "I love you too." Because He loves me, and Jesus, I love you too. :)

power of prayers

we are in hard times right now. just look around and you can see it...you turn on the television and your hear about another natural disaster, another forclosure, unemployment, disease, famine, school closings, etc ect.


my family decided in times like this how important it is to put on the full armor of God. God only leads us into battle if we are are prepared to win. So we need to be prepared.


So as an extended family, we are going to work with Christ and stand as one to help our family members (friends as well.) We designated Thursday's, as a day to re-prioritize whats important. To simplify our day, and to remember we live and serve for God's glory, and remember the power of prayer.


We are going to fast and pray as a spiritual disipline for family memebers that need healing every Thursday.

umm. i just wanna be me.

I had my first experience with subbing today. Let me tell you...it was an experience, and thats putting it in nice terms.

It definitly woke me up as to what I have been studying this week. I'll start by sharing a small piece of my experience. Lets just say before the day even began, I was taken aback. So this dentist I was helping out shared with me the day before that I needed to wear black pants and a white button down top to work. I shared with her that I wasnt sure if I had those, but would do my best and that I had my lab coat to wear too. So I came to work with black pants, a white top (no buttons) and my lab coat. I walk in, and the first thing she says is, "take your coat off, its wrinkly you cant wear that. The she says, hike up your pants and tuck your shirt in. Then she goes, i dont like that shirt, and gets a shirt thats hers to wear." ummmmmmmmmm.

So that was the morning-before the day even started!! talk about me being intimidated and nervous!!! After we dismissed the patient for the day, she says thank you, and I go get my keys and coat. Then she approaches me and says,"being a woman in the workplace is tough. And you being a young woman, well that is tough too. People dont look at you with much authority." She then procceeded to tell me that in the workforce women need to present themselves and wear makeup and have their hair nice and clothes look nice. UMMM. excuse me???? there was a little babble about my attire blah blah blah and i stopped listening because i was so taken aback. In my mind, i did what she asked (wore black) and freaking helped her out!!

Never in my life have I felt so small. words cant really explain my feelings. She might as well told me I looked like crap. I was so stoked that I helped someone out, and i was crushed. I was even a little off to begin with in the morning because of the start i had. Maybe im looking into this too deeply, but i cant help how I feel. Im sorry, but in my opinion, that was NOT okay to do.

and with that, it made me really look at myself and think...am I ok? Do I look professional? Do people take me seriously? Should I wear makeup and present myself?? Because in my head, I think it is more important to BE qualified than LOOK qualified. This person judged me from square one and didnt even give me a CHANCE to be me. UGG. And i felt the urge to share, well i dont wear dress pants to work, i thought you wear scrubs, ect ect etc. but i kept my mouth shut.

In our culture, there is SO much expectations, and people who look down on you, judge you. And its so easy to get sucked into being something your not. To presenting yourself as something, but really feel something different.

I just saw a commercial for Old Navy, and its said,"dont give up your dream of being fake.." seriously??

I was so hurt by today..but im trying to not let it get to me. God created me for a purpose. He LOVES me as who I am. He loves that I wear headbands in my hair, dont wear makeup and wear cute scrubs to work. You know, I shouldnt be ashamed of who I am. And I shouldnt let the rejection of others weigh me down in guilt and self doubt.

I feel a lot better letting this out. Ive had my share of "pretending" to be something Im not...and it doesnt work out right or good. Its better to just be yourself. And I thought I'd end this post with one of my favorites...

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you." -Dr. Suess.

Let it be to you.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galations 5:1

God didnt not intend us to be held captive by anything; He wants us to be free. Currently, I am in the process of breaking free of things I am feeling captivated by. And a lot of them I am finding, I didnt know was.

I speak for myself, but Im sure others feel the same way...that we dont deserve to be free. We carry around our "baggage" and are excuse is, "thats just who I am." or "Im a failure anyway." and get sucked in.

STOP LISTENING TO THE DEVILS LIES! The devil knows how to get under our skin, deep within our deepest closets of crap.

My mom ALWAYS tells me, you are what you think you are. And you know what....that is great advice. If i think I look like crap, Im going to feel like crap too. If i feel like Im going to fail a test, well with that attitude, Im one step closer to it. and so on. And when i think thoughts like, "Im a failure.." well the devil freakin wins. I need to train this heart to not listen to the lies. I AM WORTHY...because God lets me be.

So why do we hide in our "baggage" and not lift it up to Him? In Genesis 3:8-13, Adam hides himself because he was afraid and because he was naked. Or even in 1 Samuel 10:22, he hides himself among the baggage.

Why do we hide? Whether its hiding in the baggage, or hiding behind it, why?? What are we afraid of?

No matter what, God loves us. And will always love us.

To end this note, in Matthew 9:28-29, "And when He had come into the house, the blind man came to Him. And Jesus said, "Do you beleive that I am able to do this?" They said t0 Him, Yes Lord. Then He touched their eyes and said, "According to your faith, let it be to you."

According to your faith, let it be to you......

running.

Ive been having a lot of blah days lately for reasons I dont know why. And today was one of those days....but a PERFECT day for a run.

I ran 4 miles today. And it was much needed. It was subconciously needed...because when I got a good 1/2 mile in, emotions came pouring out. I ran 2 miles, completly bawling. Couldnt say ive EVER done that, but I needed it I guess. Im sure I looked like a crazy person as cars drove by on Holt road, but I didnt even notice. It was one of those moments where I couldnt stop, and had absolutly no idea why.

The last 2 miles were very peaceful. The sun was shining across the snow glazed open country fields, with nothing but my shadow following me. and it was great.

But having done, I feel completly better. however, my legs are rather sore. :)

Being vulnerable

Feelings. Something about sharing thoughts, feelings, emotions makes you feel vulnerable. And most of the time, they never quite come out the way you want them to. But thats ok. Im so greatful for all of my friends, but one of my friends, and Im pretty sure i thanked him for the first time ever.

When we'd talk, the questions "hows God today." always seemed to pop up. and I honestly couldnt tell you what I'd reply. It could of been lies I was telling myself (ignoring the truth) or the truth. I dont remember. But besides the fact, this person for me was the start of finding the light. and actually the person who brought my family to a church we all love so much.

Its funny to look back at old notes and journals and see how much we search for God, even if its not wholeheartedly, or even if its all the wrong places. Flipping through pages, its funny how often my friends are in them, and such examples they were to me, or how some were setting me up to stay trapped. As I was still living my life as a lie caught in bondage, my notes reflected my deep emotions. However I at one point came to a realization from one of my friends. Hed always share about God in such a way that one day I quote,"I want faith like that! Why cant I have faith like that?" And it hit me then....that I could.

I can be like Christ! Too often I doubted my gifts, listened to the devil, denighed the word of God, looked at my faults and mistakes, and kept doubting God. Just as Peter doubted Jesus in the book of Matthew, we can be like Jesus. "O you of so little faith."

Its funny how God will always pursue us. It is CLEAR as to what God has done for us, and someday He will set a passion in you. It might take a few years, but eventually the passion will just take over your heart.

This ever long awaiting is here. This passion, this unstoppable flame, is on fire. This desire to be like Jesus, to have the faith like my friend. I know I want someone to be able to look at me, and think she yup, she is a Jesus follower. At church a few weeks ago really stuck out to me. it was something like 1% read the bible, and 99% read the Christian. In a way that is true. From what Ive learned and observed from the people in my life, I have gained so much. So much as to now I am turning to His word. I pray to be more Christlike...to be humble, serve and not be served, and let those who slap me slap the other cheek, and show the ones I love...that I love them. And love them all with my ever God loving heart.

I pray that I will be as good of an example to others as to what my friends have been for me. And God....I thank you for such loving people in my life.

nothing secret...is ever secret.

Trust.

Ugg. Why is that such a hard concept for me to grasp?? Maybe its because I think of all the experiences and what i believe trust means. Maybe its because of all the people who have hurt me, and have abused my trust, taken advantage, and so on that I'm having a hard time letting someone wholeheartedly in life and ultimately trusting and have faith in. People lie, sin, gossip, cheat, confess, rumors, share secrets, break promises and so on...I wouldn't be surprised if I wasn't alone with having issues with wholeheartedly trusting God.

This is where I need to remember that my relationship with Christ is like no other relationship I've experienced here. Yes, there are pieces and glimpses of Him within people and moments here, but He is like no other. He is God, my savior, the one I CAN trust. He is the one I should cry to, to confess to, to share secrets with, and believe He won't tell, will give me comfort, and will love me nonetheless.

Without Him, I am weak. I am learning and growing to trust Him.

GO USA

Olympics. :) Ive done nothing but sit and watch the olympics. I hardly ever watch t.v. and im glued to it today!! haha Go USA :)

Happy valentines day! :)

4 thoughts.

4 thoughts tonight....

4. In college, I would read bible verses and look up verses online. Now, however, I stick to the old fashioned way, by picking up a bible. This may sound silly, but I am now finding that as I flip through pages, I feel God and like I'm taking time and having a relationship with Him. Not only that, but it reminds me that no matter how technological, advanced and crazy our world gets, the Bible, and God remains the same...and is constant.

3. The bible study am I doing, gave me an incredible God lightbulb A HA moment. Beth Moore was sharing about the possibility of baggage and bondage is being passed down generationally, etc etc. So I want to change that. Direct quote from her, "I resolved to do anything and everything God willed-no matter how difficult-to make sure my two precious pups would not grow up to walk like their mother--the victim." This is something I want to take to heart. These middle schoolers may not be my children, but I am someone who carries baggage and bondage, and i wouldnt want any of them to be affected by it. Or to have their baggage and bondage themselves. As Beth said again, "I pray that if they walk like me now, they will walk wholeheartedly in liberty with God. I have found freedom right next to His side." I pray God uses me as a light for His glory.

2. I just had a sleepover last night with the east lansing middle schoolers Jocie and I lead at my house. I used to question myself as a leader, but now I know, I was made for this. :) I slept 4 hours last night, and may be in bed at 7:30 on a Sunday night, exausted, tired, however, I couldnt feel more alive, full and awake in my heart. :) Praise God.

1. Lastly, God is just so great. Im looking forward to spending each day smiling with God. Things are SO good right now, and I only pray that when things arent great, for His sake, that I will continually praise and give Him glory.

Hugs.

Leap of Faith

Recently, I went out to lunch with my amazing friend Woj. :) Not only was the conversation enlighting and great, but I was so impressed with her willingness to take a chance. I took her to Sahara's, a middle eastern resturant, somewhere she'd never been or eaten before. I dont know about you, but when you look at some Middle Eastern meals, it doesnt always look so appetizing..

Her ability to trust me and my judgement of food was incredible and her willingness to try something different. It really made me sit back and think about when was the last time I took a chance, or trusted someone on something i didnt know about...

It also made me think, am i taking that leap of faith? Am I truely trusting God? Am I willing to do something to push me out of my comfort zone? Am I? So thats now my moment of prayers, is for me to trust God, and to make that jump.

:(

Life's short. I had the reminder of that as a fellow dental hygiene classmate of mine passed away on Thursday. My heart and prayers goes out to her family, and friends. I cant find words to express my thoughts and feelings on this matter. She was 25 years old, and its hard to not feel sad for those who are left behind. But we are reminded that life here is only temporary. That we again shall meet...in a better place. God has plans for us all, and although we fight the "whys" and more, we really dont know what tomorrow will be. But for now, we need to remember to embrace life...embrace living each moment with God, and embrace living life to the fullest, and using the talents we have towards others. Live. Laugh. and most importantly LOVE.

Stacy Meyers, you will be missed. Your heart of gold and welcoming smile will forever be remembered.

under your skin

I hate how the devil just knows how to get you. Things can be going so strong with God, yet he just knows all too well how to get under your skin. He knows your insecurities and at a moment you are weak, he comes unwelcomed.

I woke without pushing snooze for the first time in a long time this morning. Woke up, had a great breakfast and made it to work by 7. today was going to be a great day...

Nope.

But tomorrow is a new day. I am finding I am needing God in all times, and need to constantly pray to him.... "put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies and tricks of the devil."

As my walk with Jesus becomes closer, it only makes the devil want to get me even more. the devil wants me to NOT glorify God. I am going to have to be ready and alert at all times for his sneak attacks.

Its funny, I saw a commerical for a diet with a little blue monster that keeps popping up and the girl just shuts the monster away. Made me think of what I need to do... :) Shut the devil away with "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworty-think about such things."-Phil 4:8.

God, prayers to the Japinga family.

writing

I havent written in a while. I wrote a poem last night...and im going to share a few lines. If you wanna read the whole thing, drop me an e-mail.



"Your the unbrella
When the weight of the world
falls down like rain
preventing me
from going insaine

you are the bridge
when the world
falls out of place
With open arms
to me
you always embrace. "





God is so cool :)

baby its cooold outside.

-2 degrees. wow thats wicked :) Had great company here at the house tonight. it was great. I love how being around people just brings joy to my heart. Looking forward to what this new week brings.

Story.

Story.

Everyone has a story to share. The 80 year old man with his whimsical jokes and war stories, the grandmother with stories of joy and laughter and cooking recipies, the new mother and baby moments, to the 4 year old sharing about her day at school. The thing I find the most intriguing is not everyones story is heard. Not enough people are willing to hear, to listen, or lend an ear to peoples experiences. Each memory and experience had shaped and added personality a person contains. Each freckle reflects endless memories in the sunshine, crows feet to reflect each moment spent laughing. Anyone and everyone can learn from each other; it is up to us to ask, to listen, and to learn from them.

From people I have personally met or heard stories from others, have shared many things with me. I may have not always follow the advice they gave, but after experiencing some things on my own, I wish I would have listened. The life lessons from our elders, peers, parents and grandparents really do reflect the experiences we come across in our own life, regardless of how silly it may seem at the time. 1 Peter 5:8-0 "Be sober, viliginate, because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world." I remember rolling my eyes at my parents as a kid, thinking o great another lecture. But as I grow older, I will get better at listening and remember to listen.

History; a topic I thoroughly hated growing up. This is something horrible to admit, but its true. Granted I loved hearing stories from my grandpa and was intrigued by the memorials in D.C, but i never really appreciated or actually understood history. But when it comes down to it, everything one does changes and affects the future. The decisions and the actions one makes is a cause and effect to the future. If Nixon was never president, would the Watergate scandle ever exisited? What if Martin Luther King never shared his dream? How would that of changed history? I find it amazing how the decisions and choices we make not only affect ourselves, but can also affect those around us. There are a LOT of people who have greatly impacted my life, mostly for the better. And i am sure I know i have adjusted peoples lives, whether in a good way, or not.

Whats important with people's story, is that in each story..there is God. Right in the middle. in the crap, the good, etc etc in the story.

***G***

ST*O*R Y

***D***

This weekend, I had the blessing to hear a story; the story of an incredible woman. How much she loved people. How she was loved. and so on. Daisy.

What an inspirational person. It was so great to hear stories about her, and to learn and see what an amazing woman she was. I might not of known her well, but I know she is someone I want to be like. Someone to look up to, to learn from, and to remember. Her positive attitude and perspective on life is one to mimic. Daisy has spread her "seeds" to us all, and it is up to us to enrich the "seeds" and gifts she gave us, and to spread our own. I know there is a lot of "daisy" in me, and Im going to work on making the daisy in me shine. Her story is one I will share, learn from, and spread.

Matt 13:31 "Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants...." Simply put...plant seeds in the seeds of people and of Gods word through love.

Thank you Daisy for your faith, attitude and hope, and especially, for showing us all how to love. Have fun dancing, singing, sewing, and loving in heaven :)