What do I have to lose?

Younglife Club was really great last night. Being a new leader now at Cherry Creek, however makes me laugh because I remember when I first started leading back in Michigan.

I remembered talking to kids, and having them walk away from you when you were talking because their friend came or someone cooler is there, Or standing akwardly in the lunchroom and so on. And its hard to find that courage to put yourself in those akward situations, yet here I am, giving it a whirl here in Colorado. I mean, what do I have to lose anyway???

It took me a while to decide to be a leader again. I LOVED leading wyldlife in Michigan, and was scared to do Younglife here. Being in a new state, new city, having no friends and not really knowing anyone, starting new job new everything, the idea of being a leader as well made me reaaally nervous.

But I prayed for a long time about it, met with the area director about it and questioned myself time and time again. When it came to it, I realized I was putting in too many excuses in the equation. I was afraid. Afraid of not being good enough, afraid I wouldnt have time because I had SO much crazy stuff going on, afraid I was too old compared to the other leaders, afraid of failing, afraid and doubting myself because I dont always remember bible verses, am terrible with club talks, or that I always make the right decisions and so on and so forth.

Brad our area director kept pursing me, and I continued to pray. As I prayed, I thought you know, there is a reason why Brad hasnt given up on me...and there was a reason why God placed it on my heart to even consider doing it..I thought what did I have to lose? Nothing really...What changed my heart is thinking of why I would be a good leader. I mean, it only shows how human we are, and how much we really need to rely on God. It holds me accountable. I think of all the mistakes i have made, think of my story, and thought of how awesome it would be to share my stories about about God to help them not make the same mistakes I have. How cool it would be for these High School kids to know God and to have Him in their lives..How much better life would be for them! And I was excited for the relationships i was going to create, and how much JOY I get when I can help someone and so on. I thought about how much JOY i get when i am around people, and how God is opening this HUGE opportunity to love and be create relationships. It was a really cool feeling when i realized this, because I was excited. I know I fail at things, But I KNOW God doesnt.

And to answer the question, what do I have to lose?? Nothing. Because I know that I have God, and He will not fail me. I may not look forward to stand akwardly in a lunchroom or at club or kids not liking me or whatever, but I am excited for it. Because I know God has a purpose in me. And i know I will make a difference in peoples lives, even if they dont see now. And it comes down to the Younglife slogan, I was made for this. :) It is so true.

I was made to love God, and to love on kids.

I pray to God that He will use me as a light and example as a follower of Jesus.