serve

Mark 10:42-45 " Jesus called them together and said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Being a volunteer this weekend at Timberwolf Lake was so great. I enjoyed serving others and seeing God in everyone around me. People truely were leading by example and i know i learned from watching serve adn show love and by talking to others.

Live a life of love.

I wish i didnt have so much reading/hw to do otherwise id go into it more. maybe i'll add tomorrow.

Look where we are now.

Writing has and will always be a passion of mine. And right now im on "flu recovery" and did a little writing. However, as I laid around the past couple days, I went through old papers, letters, poems, short clips etc i had written. And I came across a page long poem I wrote a while ago, a huge shoutout for help. I am speechless from the words that came out. I will not put the whole poem because its between the pen and paper, but I will include the first line....

"My smiles disguises
What I'm really thinking.
My eyes reflection
Holds a hidden confession"

and last line....

"I cant understand what im feeling
Acting in ways so unappealing
Putting up a front, pretending
Waiting, hoping,
I cant keep defending
Someone come find me
This train has fallen off track
Someone come find me
And put me back"

Is I read the words, I remember. I remember the pain. I remember the rock bottom feeling. The uselessness. Looking in all the wrong places and finding nothing. The hopeless feeling. The tears that no longer fell. The feeling alone.

Its amazing to look back at this poem I wrote, and to see where I am now.

God has reshaped this heart of mine. He has wiped the tears. Listened to my cries. Erased my fears. Took control. Became my escape. Healed my bruises. Gave me hope. Made this train go back on track.

I hope that i never go back to where I once was. I actually dont think I could from what I know and feel in my heart. I praise God for bringing me back to life. To being who I was made to be. There are times when I think, ok God what now and have moments where I stumble. But I think its good to look back and say, wow...God, look where we are now.

to busy to notice.

Soccer at one point fulled my schedule. Especially, when i played in college, it was my everything. schedules for classes was picked around it, activities after school, friends, etc. So after i "retired" I didnt really touch a soccer ball. 2 years. And friday was the first time in 2 years.

Thanks to my friend matt inviting me to summit...i was reminded the joy & love i feel when i play soccer. I have pushed soccer out of my life for far too long. I have forgotten how great it felt to run up and down and up and down the soccer field. how great it feels to high five your teammates. to sweat. to kick a ball. to pass. to huff adn puff. to push. to get pushed. to run. to play. O the joy of soccer. I get a feeling i cant explain when i play soccer, like im on cloud 9. my life was too busy to notice what my true feelings were. I forgot the real reason why i went to college to play soccer. I made it my life instead of it making my life.

I think being so YOU HAVE to play soccer, the eat sleep soccer life in college made me forget how much passion and love i have for soccer. touching on this reminds me too, to set back and to look at the things I may be looking over, have taken advantage of, or barely notice due to how busy i am. i am going to work on this. :) like start writing again. or actually pick up the guitar more than once in a while. and to take on things that reallllly freak me out-like driving.

I am so lucky to have such great people in my life. To challenge me, to remind me, to help me, to love me and accept me as I am. For a long time i was lost, but the people and things i have been doing in my life has been helping me find me again. and as each day that goes by, I praise God for His work in me.

Scavenger hunt

so today was the WYLDlife photo scavenger hunt. SO GREAT!! :) I am so excited to get to know them all! anyways, my group was with the 7th graders and 2 8th graders, & what a fun bunch. They were such a riot in the car, such planned/strategic ciaos.

I am so excited with the 7th graders. I had just met them when I went to the middle school on Wednesday. :) And they came tonight. Totally made my whole night. Im finding the more i put myself out there, the more i am actually trusting God, finding myself and I pray the awkwardness just goes away.

Taking pictures was so great. And actually, this hunt was in a reminder to me to enjoy the moments in life. How we need to just stop and take it all in. That moments like these are something that cant be replaced and need to be kept close to the heart. all we have are these memories, the pictures caught in time. So much in life we are "scavenging" in life, trying to figure out the next step, making plans, etc., but what we really need to focus on are the moments, the special "pictures" we capture that stay within our hearts.

November

November 1st we decided to have a pancake feast. After church we invited a lot of people over and it was team effort meal. One of us cooked the bacon, the eggs, pancakes, waffles, sausage, ect. it was amazing.

Community is so great. Days like that reminds you how you can have a little piece of heaven on earth.

"Two are better than one, because they gave a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone, when he falls for he has no one to help him up." -Eccalesiastes 4:9-10