Fire

Last night I slept by the fireplace. Kind of random I know, but i did. Im not entirely sure why I did-not quite as cozy as a bed, but for some reason i did. Its been trying to comprehend why, but i am just not finding a reason...

I woke up with blankets over me, which made me feel so blessed. It probably looked really silly to my parents this morning when they found me sleeping there, but they didnt wake me, or make me move. Im not really sure why..maybe they just werent suprised.

Life on the edge

I love finding old cd's. seriously.

Life on the edge-Eli

I open up my eyes,
To face another day.
I start to struggle,
Who will I obey?
Temptation surrounds me,
Trying to resist.
I may end up winning,
Or end up caving in!

This is life on the edge.
Tell me I'm meant for more than this.
I get closer,
And closer to regret.
Won't someone pull me in,
From living on the edge?

Conviction comes easy,
Never seems to stay.
Avoiding my family,
I wonder what they'd say,
If they knew the endless circles I have run?
Would Mom and Dad still love me,
No matter what I'd done?

So I pray to God,
With nothing left to lose.
But I've spent my heart,
And now I have to choose
Between this madness,
Or a second chance.
The future won't be easy,
But neither was my past!

This is life on the edge.
Yes, I'm meant for more than this.
I move farther, and farther from regret;
And God pulls me in...
This is life on the edge.

Yes, I'm meant for more than this.
I move farther,
And farther from regret.
And God pulls me in,
From livin' on the ledge.




The words speak for themselves...

I once lived on the edge, and God pulls me in. And He will always save me...

SO CLOSE

Wow. i am almost done...4 more finals to go!!!!!! so to take breaks from studying, i have been playing in the snow with my roommates :) Thursday night after my final we walked across the frozen pond and sledded down the hill behind walmart. SO MUCH FUN!! :) And yesterday, i thought going skiing at caberfae was a nice 5 hr study break. :) So now its crunch time and i need to stop finding ways to procrastinate. What do i need at meijers..... hah.

Snow

SNOW DAY!!!!!! :) I love and hate Michigan weather...but for days like this...amazing. I got a ride from my classmate Amy today at 9 and there is sooo much snow. Plows not really happening. I think we woke up to about 6 in on our cars, and while in class=more. haha i had to push Amys car out because we were stuck in the parking lot! haha.

So all my afternoon classes were cancelled, INCLUDING clinic! :) So my patient will just have to come next semester...crazy! I cannot beleive i made it through the semester! So rather than being done w/ class at 9pm, i have the afternoon to clean, take a nap, study, read...etc. Its amazing. So thank God for this snow and the opportunity to relax!!!!

What was I worried about

YAYYY. Today I just completed my last requirement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can BREATHE. well kinda. now i just need to do well on all my exams!! (I never had a pedo patient, so there I still need to take pedo bitewings, but my professors said it was ok. Theres 20 of us in this position. )

BUT I still feel a huge life off my shoulders!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank God for giving me the strength and the faith to get it done!

anticipation

1.5 weeks. Gosh I cant wait. I am so looking forward to coming home adn RELAXING. Im looking forward to spending time friends and family. I miss them. I am anxious to get all these dang requirements completed and all the finals!! Im so envious MSU is done after this week...Im just getting started!

Im having a hard time getting motivated too! too easily distracted!! (hence im online..haha)

But here's my card for the week! "Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."(psalm 27:14)

Losing Control

Its been snowing prettty heavily here. And its been a struggle to get me out on the roads. I find myself texting friends "how are the roads" and asking for rides here and there. Whats my fear? What could happen that hasnt already?

I think part of me is too embarressed to drive...if i were to get in another accident..people would think i was a terrible driver, an idiot, feel sorry for me or think im accident prone or something. WHY does this bother me?

I think a part of me feels like I cant handle another accident. And I think Ive seen to o many movies, had too many flashbacks, and visualized too many accidents in my head.

I think part of me is not trusting my abilities...i was able to drive last winter-well with less stress as now..WHY am i struggling today??

I understand its all in Gods hands. I had a TERRIBLE crash last year and He saved me. A lot in my life has happened BECAUSE of the experience --Gods miracle--I walked with just a scratch--I may not understand why but I know Ive grown from it.

Sometimes I dislike this whole "all in His control" thing. Everything I do throughout the day I control--when i eat, go to class, the store, who i talk to, etc etc. But I need to remember GOD allows this in my life to happen. He can EASILY take these abilities away from me. I may decide where I drive, where I go, but i cannot CONTROL the outcome.

Theres a reason for all accidents adn experiences we encounter in one way or another. God will control my life, and Im thankful for that. And sure I may crash again and it would suck...but I know He will always save me.

My notecard for the week...especially due to my insaine thoughts of losing control..

"God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it."[1 Corinthians 10:13]