Fire

Last night I slept by the fireplace. Kind of random I know, but i did. Im not entirely sure why I did-not quite as cozy as a bed, but for some reason i did. Its been trying to comprehend why, but i am just not finding a reason...

I woke up with blankets over me, which made me feel so blessed. It probably looked really silly to my parents this morning when they found me sleeping there, but they didnt wake me, or make me move. Im not really sure why..maybe they just werent suprised.

Life on the edge

I love finding old cd's. seriously.

Life on the edge-Eli

I open up my eyes,
To face another day.
I start to struggle,
Who will I obey?
Temptation surrounds me,
Trying to resist.
I may end up winning,
Or end up caving in!

This is life on the edge.
Tell me I'm meant for more than this.
I get closer,
And closer to regret.
Won't someone pull me in,
From living on the edge?

Conviction comes easy,
Never seems to stay.
Avoiding my family,
I wonder what they'd say,
If they knew the endless circles I have run?
Would Mom and Dad still love me,
No matter what I'd done?

So I pray to God,
With nothing left to lose.
But I've spent my heart,
And now I have to choose
Between this madness,
Or a second chance.
The future won't be easy,
But neither was my past!

This is life on the edge.
Yes, I'm meant for more than this.
I move farther, and farther from regret;
And God pulls me in...
This is life on the edge.

Yes, I'm meant for more than this.
I move farther,
And farther from regret.
And God pulls me in,
From livin' on the ledge.




The words speak for themselves...

I once lived on the edge, and God pulls me in. And He will always save me...

SO CLOSE

Wow. i am almost done...4 more finals to go!!!!!! so to take breaks from studying, i have been playing in the snow with my roommates :) Thursday night after my final we walked across the frozen pond and sledded down the hill behind walmart. SO MUCH FUN!! :) And yesterday, i thought going skiing at caberfae was a nice 5 hr study break. :) So now its crunch time and i need to stop finding ways to procrastinate. What do i need at meijers..... hah.

Snow

SNOW DAY!!!!!! :) I love and hate Michigan weather...but for days like this...amazing. I got a ride from my classmate Amy today at 9 and there is sooo much snow. Plows not really happening. I think we woke up to about 6 in on our cars, and while in class=more. haha i had to push Amys car out because we were stuck in the parking lot! haha.

So all my afternoon classes were cancelled, INCLUDING clinic! :) So my patient will just have to come next semester...crazy! I cannot beleive i made it through the semester! So rather than being done w/ class at 9pm, i have the afternoon to clean, take a nap, study, read...etc. Its amazing. So thank God for this snow and the opportunity to relax!!!!

What was I worried about

YAYYY. Today I just completed my last requirement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can BREATHE. well kinda. now i just need to do well on all my exams!! (I never had a pedo patient, so there I still need to take pedo bitewings, but my professors said it was ok. Theres 20 of us in this position. )

BUT I still feel a huge life off my shoulders!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank God for giving me the strength and the faith to get it done!

anticipation

1.5 weeks. Gosh I cant wait. I am so looking forward to coming home adn RELAXING. Im looking forward to spending time friends and family. I miss them. I am anxious to get all these dang requirements completed and all the finals!! Im so envious MSU is done after this week...Im just getting started!

Im having a hard time getting motivated too! too easily distracted!! (hence im online..haha)

But here's my card for the week! "Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."(psalm 27:14)

Losing Control

Its been snowing prettty heavily here. And its been a struggle to get me out on the roads. I find myself texting friends "how are the roads" and asking for rides here and there. Whats my fear? What could happen that hasnt already?

I think part of me is too embarressed to drive...if i were to get in another accident..people would think i was a terrible driver, an idiot, feel sorry for me or think im accident prone or something. WHY does this bother me?

I think a part of me feels like I cant handle another accident. And I think Ive seen to o many movies, had too many flashbacks, and visualized too many accidents in my head.

I think part of me is not trusting my abilities...i was able to drive last winter-well with less stress as now..WHY am i struggling today??

I understand its all in Gods hands. I had a TERRIBLE crash last year and He saved me. A lot in my life has happened BECAUSE of the experience --Gods miracle--I walked with just a scratch--I may not understand why but I know Ive grown from it.

Sometimes I dislike this whole "all in His control" thing. Everything I do throughout the day I control--when i eat, go to class, the store, who i talk to, etc etc. But I need to remember GOD allows this in my life to happen. He can EASILY take these abilities away from me. I may decide where I drive, where I go, but i cannot CONTROL the outcome.

Theres a reason for all accidents adn experiences we encounter in one way or another. God will control my life, and Im thankful for that. And sure I may crash again and it would suck...but I know He will always save me.

My notecard for the week...especially due to my insaine thoughts of losing control..

"God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it."[1 Corinthians 10:13]

its getting real

My classmate Sarah and I have been talking about possibly being roommates next year. How awesome would that be? So weve kinda been thinking of places and looking up jobs etc. So today she shared with me about this place in CALIFORNIA thats really great pay adn in a beautiful location etc. (Job outlook is pretty crazy in all aspects of the US right now-not much out there)

Could I really just move across the country?!? Is this where and what is to come my way? Although Im single and young, could i really do it?!? I mean I have so much here; family and great friends..it freaks me out. Its really crazy and starting to get so real right now that the semester is coming to a close...its funny how you have this IDEAL life in your head, and have it all planned out...but I find it doesnt quite work that way.

I know God really has something special in store for me. But where?! Will I know it when it comes? Who am I gonna live with?! and the list goes on. I know He has a plan..but do I really KNOW it? I guess you could say Im just scared.....I pray God shows me :)

dark woods-green pastures

I used to put walls up and act like everything was ok...a lot. I put up an "image" of something I wasnt. I was trying to hide how lost I was to others. I was trying to identify me, listening to what others thought i was or wasnt supposed to be. I couldnt place it..I was lost wandering aimlessly in the woods. I was trying to identify myself in things that werent me.

Ive been doing a lot of reading, prayer, and being vulnerable and sharing things with others. Ive read and heard God has this image of me...something God originally intended me to be; before I got lost in the herd...and trailed off the green pasture, and got stuck in the woods. I lost faith in what God’s image of me was. I need to start having faith in me-the faith I can live up to this person God created me to be. I have the ability, and I need to give up and trust He will find me and put me back in the green pastures when I get lost! I need to trust that God is already putting me back together, to the what He had planned for me. I need to believe what God is saying who I am, and let what He says shape what I think of myself...

For all my mistakes, all my turning my back on God, my rollercoaster ride, and my continual struggle to find myself...it doesnt matter. I realize the point isn’t failing and getting stuck in the woods, but God’s success I'm found and that Hes putting me back to the person He wanted me to be. Im forgiven! God wants me to see who I am and who and what I can be. Not who I once was... God already sees me as an incredible person and I need to believe it. God takes me out of the dark woods, and I can be in green pastures and be me.

Proverbs 3:5-6 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight

so studious!

This weekend i was in chicago for a boards review. Im soo glad I went. Not only did i get closer to some classmates, but i kinda know what to study, how to study, and realized I NEED TO STUDY. haha. Below is a picture of some of the girls. 28 out of 57 classmates went!! crazy!

Thursday we drove to chi & went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner and deserts. Kinda expensive, but a GREAT treat. Friday was the conference/review class 730 am-530pm. Was very infomative! And whats awesome...I WON A PRIZE! I never win things. it was $150 dollar study deck..which is VERY exciting! Saturday the review was 730-1. Not as bad. Friday after the class, we went to Gurnee for shopping! Afterwords, we goofed around in the hotel and went swimming and sat in the hottub! :) It was fun!

Overall, great weekend. I dont think Im ready for a new week. But one day at a time!!

Cant stop smiling

wow. could I be more blessed?! I cant be more thankful for the people in my life. My roommate on wednesday was my patient. She received sealents-which is a requirement for me-and got her teeth cleaned! Im finally starting to breathe...only a few more requirements left!! It was so great of her! She also allowed one of my classmates to place a sealent so she could get her requirement filled! bless her heart! :) I really just cant thank her enough!

I talked with sween today, i miss that girl! It always puts a smile on my face when i hang w/ her. Things are going well for her so its incredible to hear! The new Taylor Swift cd came out and i cant stop listening to it! Its amazing the talents people have! Yesterday at His House, one of the things our small table talked about how to please God is by using the talents He gave us.

Today im headed down to Chicago with half my classmates! Were going for a review for our boards. AHH. Its crazy to think Im having to start studying for something so far away NOW. Im so excited! Minus all the studying/work were going to be doing, but im looking forward to getting to know the girls better, and see some of them outside of class!!! :) 2 of my fav professors are going too, which will be great!

All smiles this weekend

Thursday, I had my usual clinic til 9. Cooked some dinner, and waited for allison to come home to watch greys at 10. (yes were dorks..we taped it) Afterwords, Scott and I blew up over 150 balloons and put them in Tammys car. It took forever, but was well worth it. It looked awesome. This is a pic of her car. See how its filled to the top! :)

We did it for her LAST soccer game ever. :) It was great, Friday morning when she woke, she had to get a ride to class because she couldnt get enough balloons out in time!! hahaha. So Friday Stacey, her boyfriend Chad, and my friends Scott and Jason drove to GRap to watch her play. It was a bummer they lost--but FSU made it to the semi-finals for the first time ever!! :) Thats quite an accomplishment!!



On Saturday, I woke up at 6:30 am. It was a workday for Habitat! And afterwords, I was picking up my mom to hang out! I left at 6:50 and picked a girl I never met from Brophy Hall, who only needed a ride there. So I of corse, I said yes. (Something I have been praying about with God is to let me out of my comfort zone, and i sure am!) So me and my new friend drove to Grand Rapids to the work site.


What a blast-even though it was snow/raining. I was hammering in nails, sawing wood, and holding up boards. It was fun. Wish i had a picture of me in my hardhat and glasses. :) i went to the work site not knowing anyone. It was pretty fun meeting a few new people from Ferris(contruction program) and some girls from GVSU. They were really friendly!

I left at 12 to meet my mom around Calvin's campus. And we went shopping and hung out in Grand rapids. I hadnt been to a mall in ages!! Mom and I had a BLAST. We always have so much fun together. We even have a funny story to laugh at...I left my car lights on...the whole time we shopped...and we came to go get food and start to head home...my car was dead. AHAHA so we got security to come to jump it. Figures itd happen at night when it was raining. Gotta love it. :) We got home and watched a movie. :)

Sunday, mom and i woke up and went to church. (resurrection Life) My mom loved the church, so it made me really excited! Having such a great weekend makes the coming week not seem so bad. Granted, I would love to have an extra day to do all the stuff I have to do..but it was full of smiles and laughs this weekend. But im procrastinating on all my projects, quizes and stuff i should be doing. I guess i should get back to it...

Insanity

Thanks to God for a beautiful november day! :) i can hardly beleive its november. this semester is just flying by! The semester is going to be over before I know it! ahh! I can already feel my shoulders getting heavier...and im trying to take one day at a time. Im having a BLAST in clinicals-makes me very excited for the real world! The only problem is the stress of getting all the requirements finished! I have 7 more patients to complete by december, a set of xrays, sealents, and a pedo patient (child). AHHH I pray I get all these tasks done and I find a child's teeth to clean!

All the while in my stress and insanity of the dental hygiene program, I need to remember whats important. Family. Friends. God. And i guess schools important too :) I need to let my stress not affect my relationships as well as my personal health. I also need to not be scared and to have faith I will get these tasks finished, and pass with flying colors. Stress, fear, anxiety; i cant let it get in the way of my enjoyment of dental hygiene...i only have one more semester of college to enjoy! The future is in my hands, but fully in Gods. He has plans for me which I dont know-which scares me! Read Jer 29:11. Even though I am scared...I need to put my trust in Him.

Something I just started doing every week is to keep a notecard of a bible verse, and keep it in my pocket. Throughout the day, i will constantly look/read it and it reminds me, He's always there. I want Him in my life...and I right now I need to remember to put my faith in Him. This is mine for the week :)

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9

Heaven has Blue Carpet

I just finished reading, something I have been sooo excited to read :), the book my grandma wrote. All I can say is wow. The title may seem a little unusual, but after reading it, I couldnt think of a more fitting one. It was amazing to read stories of my grandma over the years. I feel so blessed to call her grandma, and i loved reading about her growth and understanding of God being the shepard of our lives all the while experiencing first hand the task of being a shepard herself! :) I enjoyed reading about the love and passion my grandma has for all living things in her life. As I read, I could just see God in her words, and how He has touched her. Its incredible to see the experiences, and see the challanges she faced. O how she trusted God! :) She has met so many people throughout her life, and its incredible to see how blessed she is. Reading this book gave me even more respect for her, and I hope to be as driven and wonderful as her! Whats so great too, is I always loved hearing stories from my grandma, and I am so happy to see her book got published!

This book, titled "Heaven Has Blue Carpet," can be bought on Amazon, found at Borders & Barnes and Noble or ordered directly at www.sharonniedzinski.com

Check it out! :)

senioritis

As you can imagine, I should be studying. But instead, I'm joining the world of blogging. Ive been wanting to for a while. School is incredibly busy, but I love it. My classmates and I are getting anxious for the semester/year to end to start our unknown lives of the world of dentistry. I'm starting to get senioritis, getting easily sidetracked and lazy...But I'm taking each day as it comes and strive for the next! Its all very exciting/nerve filling/fun! I do hope things get easier!