power of prayers

we are in hard times right now. just look around and you can see it...you turn on the television and your hear about another natural disaster, another forclosure, unemployment, disease, famine, school closings, etc ect.


my family decided in times like this how important it is to put on the full armor of God. God only leads us into battle if we are are prepared to win. So we need to be prepared.


So as an extended family, we are going to work with Christ and stand as one to help our family members (friends as well.) We designated Thursday's, as a day to re-prioritize whats important. To simplify our day, and to remember we live and serve for God's glory, and remember the power of prayer.


We are going to fast and pray as a spiritual disipline for family memebers that need healing every Thursday.

umm. i just wanna be me.

I had my first experience with subbing today. Let me tell you...it was an experience, and thats putting it in nice terms.

It definitly woke me up as to what I have been studying this week. I'll start by sharing a small piece of my experience. Lets just say before the day even began, I was taken aback. So this dentist I was helping out shared with me the day before that I needed to wear black pants and a white button down top to work. I shared with her that I wasnt sure if I had those, but would do my best and that I had my lab coat to wear too. So I came to work with black pants, a white top (no buttons) and my lab coat. I walk in, and the first thing she says is, "take your coat off, its wrinkly you cant wear that. The she says, hike up your pants and tuck your shirt in. Then she goes, i dont like that shirt, and gets a shirt thats hers to wear." ummmmmmmmmm.

So that was the morning-before the day even started!! talk about me being intimidated and nervous!!! After we dismissed the patient for the day, she says thank you, and I go get my keys and coat. Then she approaches me and says,"being a woman in the workplace is tough. And you being a young woman, well that is tough too. People dont look at you with much authority." She then procceeded to tell me that in the workforce women need to present themselves and wear makeup and have their hair nice and clothes look nice. UMMM. excuse me???? there was a little babble about my attire blah blah blah and i stopped listening because i was so taken aback. In my mind, i did what she asked (wore black) and freaking helped her out!!

Never in my life have I felt so small. words cant really explain my feelings. She might as well told me I looked like crap. I was so stoked that I helped someone out, and i was crushed. I was even a little off to begin with in the morning because of the start i had. Maybe im looking into this too deeply, but i cant help how I feel. Im sorry, but in my opinion, that was NOT okay to do.

and with that, it made me really look at myself and think...am I ok? Do I look professional? Do people take me seriously? Should I wear makeup and present myself?? Because in my head, I think it is more important to BE qualified than LOOK qualified. This person judged me from square one and didnt even give me a CHANCE to be me. UGG. And i felt the urge to share, well i dont wear dress pants to work, i thought you wear scrubs, ect ect etc. but i kept my mouth shut.

In our culture, there is SO much expectations, and people who look down on you, judge you. And its so easy to get sucked into being something your not. To presenting yourself as something, but really feel something different.

I just saw a commercial for Old Navy, and its said,"dont give up your dream of being fake.." seriously??

I was so hurt by today..but im trying to not let it get to me. God created me for a purpose. He LOVES me as who I am. He loves that I wear headbands in my hair, dont wear makeup and wear cute scrubs to work. You know, I shouldnt be ashamed of who I am. And I shouldnt let the rejection of others weigh me down in guilt and self doubt.

I feel a lot better letting this out. Ive had my share of "pretending" to be something Im not...and it doesnt work out right or good. Its better to just be yourself. And I thought I'd end this post with one of my favorites...

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you." -Dr. Suess.

Let it be to you.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galations 5:1

God didnt not intend us to be held captive by anything; He wants us to be free. Currently, I am in the process of breaking free of things I am feeling captivated by. And a lot of them I am finding, I didnt know was.

I speak for myself, but Im sure others feel the same way...that we dont deserve to be free. We carry around our "baggage" and are excuse is, "thats just who I am." or "Im a failure anyway." and get sucked in.

STOP LISTENING TO THE DEVILS LIES! The devil knows how to get under our skin, deep within our deepest closets of crap.

My mom ALWAYS tells me, you are what you think you are. And you know what....that is great advice. If i think I look like crap, Im going to feel like crap too. If i feel like Im going to fail a test, well with that attitude, Im one step closer to it. and so on. And when i think thoughts like, "Im a failure.." well the devil freakin wins. I need to train this heart to not listen to the lies. I AM WORTHY...because God lets me be.

So why do we hide in our "baggage" and not lift it up to Him? In Genesis 3:8-13, Adam hides himself because he was afraid and because he was naked. Or even in 1 Samuel 10:22, he hides himself among the baggage.

Why do we hide? Whether its hiding in the baggage, or hiding behind it, why?? What are we afraid of?

No matter what, God loves us. And will always love us.

To end this note, in Matthew 9:28-29, "And when He had come into the house, the blind man came to Him. And Jesus said, "Do you beleive that I am able to do this?" They said t0 Him, Yes Lord. Then He touched their eyes and said, "According to your faith, let it be to you."

According to your faith, let it be to you......

running.

Ive been having a lot of blah days lately for reasons I dont know why. And today was one of those days....but a PERFECT day for a run.

I ran 4 miles today. And it was much needed. It was subconciously needed...because when I got a good 1/2 mile in, emotions came pouring out. I ran 2 miles, completly bawling. Couldnt say ive EVER done that, but I needed it I guess. Im sure I looked like a crazy person as cars drove by on Holt road, but I didnt even notice. It was one of those moments where I couldnt stop, and had absolutly no idea why.

The last 2 miles were very peaceful. The sun was shining across the snow glazed open country fields, with nothing but my shadow following me. and it was great.

But having done, I feel completly better. however, my legs are rather sore. :)

Being vulnerable

Feelings. Something about sharing thoughts, feelings, emotions makes you feel vulnerable. And most of the time, they never quite come out the way you want them to. But thats ok. Im so greatful for all of my friends, but one of my friends, and Im pretty sure i thanked him for the first time ever.

When we'd talk, the questions "hows God today." always seemed to pop up. and I honestly couldnt tell you what I'd reply. It could of been lies I was telling myself (ignoring the truth) or the truth. I dont remember. But besides the fact, this person for me was the start of finding the light. and actually the person who brought my family to a church we all love so much.

Its funny to look back at old notes and journals and see how much we search for God, even if its not wholeheartedly, or even if its all the wrong places. Flipping through pages, its funny how often my friends are in them, and such examples they were to me, or how some were setting me up to stay trapped. As I was still living my life as a lie caught in bondage, my notes reflected my deep emotions. However I at one point came to a realization from one of my friends. Hed always share about God in such a way that one day I quote,"I want faith like that! Why cant I have faith like that?" And it hit me then....that I could.

I can be like Christ! Too often I doubted my gifts, listened to the devil, denighed the word of God, looked at my faults and mistakes, and kept doubting God. Just as Peter doubted Jesus in the book of Matthew, we can be like Jesus. "O you of so little faith."

Its funny how God will always pursue us. It is CLEAR as to what God has done for us, and someday He will set a passion in you. It might take a few years, but eventually the passion will just take over your heart.

This ever long awaiting is here. This passion, this unstoppable flame, is on fire. This desire to be like Jesus, to have the faith like my friend. I know I want someone to be able to look at me, and think she yup, she is a Jesus follower. At church a few weeks ago really stuck out to me. it was something like 1% read the bible, and 99% read the Christian. In a way that is true. From what Ive learned and observed from the people in my life, I have gained so much. So much as to now I am turning to His word. I pray to be more Christlike...to be humble, serve and not be served, and let those who slap me slap the other cheek, and show the ones I love...that I love them. And love them all with my ever God loving heart.

I pray that I will be as good of an example to others as to what my friends have been for me. And God....I thank you for such loving people in my life.

nothing secret...is ever secret.

Trust.

Ugg. Why is that such a hard concept for me to grasp?? Maybe its because I think of all the experiences and what i believe trust means. Maybe its because of all the people who have hurt me, and have abused my trust, taken advantage, and so on that I'm having a hard time letting someone wholeheartedly in life and ultimately trusting and have faith in. People lie, sin, gossip, cheat, confess, rumors, share secrets, break promises and so on...I wouldn't be surprised if I wasn't alone with having issues with wholeheartedly trusting God.

This is where I need to remember that my relationship with Christ is like no other relationship I've experienced here. Yes, there are pieces and glimpses of Him within people and moments here, but He is like no other. He is God, my savior, the one I CAN trust. He is the one I should cry to, to confess to, to share secrets with, and believe He won't tell, will give me comfort, and will love me nonetheless.

Without Him, I am weak. I am learning and growing to trust Him.

GO USA

Olympics. :) Ive done nothing but sit and watch the olympics. I hardly ever watch t.v. and im glued to it today!! haha Go USA :)

Happy valentines day! :)