A taste of jail

Last week i was on internship. I was placed in Jackson, at the Jackson prison. It was quite the experience. Its def. a different world. I had to go through a ton of paperwork, before i could even begin. To get anywhere, I had my ID with me at all times, along with a device that if i press a button, the sireon would go off. I would go through multiple gates, just to get to the clinic.

I was suprised as to how cool teh clinic was. I pictured yellowed chairs, and low technology. But it wasnt like that at all...It was like a normal clinic. The dentist I worked for was great, along with the hygienist. I was amazed to as to how good of medical treatment the inmates get-better than a LOT of people in the world.

So all week, I was able to be a real hygienist. I cleaned the inmates teeth-quite in need of cleanings. It was nice to not be overlooked by my instructors, criticized, etc. It was a nice break.

It was strange thou. The inmates were not chained up, or handcuffed or anything. I couldnt really talk to them, so it was REALLY strange.

I also if I wanted to, I could read the confidental files. I read a few of them, and its just crazy. A person seemed so normal, and you'd read the file and be like WHOA. I cleaned pedophiles, rapists, assult and battery, bad checked, stealing, murders teeth. CRAZY.

I never felt threated, i always felt safe. I knew nothing would go wrong. We both understood each other. The inmates would trust I would do a good job cleaning, and I trusted they wouldnt do anything to me. Its amazing how a little bit of trust goes a long way.

I think what too is great to think about...at the end of the day...I get to come home.

Questions.

So i STILL have to post about the trip to Guyana.

But right now, my thoughts are this... a family friend's dad recently died. :( Still prayers for the family. But, its a comfort to know he is in a better place and is smiling down on all of us with Jesus at his side. He was an amazing person. He lived a selfless life and put others before himself, and led by example.

This pondered questions to myself, and I asked a friend for his thoughts....I asked, "if you were to die tomorrow...what do you think people would remember you by? would you be content with who you are if you are to die tomorrow?" Very legit questions, but not really i dont think anymore...

The more I think about it, I dont really like the questions at all. Shouldnt we be more interested in what God thinks? Aren't we here on earth to prepare for eternity in heaven?

I feel like we really should be asking ourselves is "what did I do with the gifts God gave me? Did I spend them on myself, or did I share with others and for the purposes God created me for?"

It doesnt matter what people think, etc. because in the end, its all up to God.

"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6


PS. PRAISE GOD. I have a patient for my $925 exam im taking May 1st! Pray he shows and I pass!

leap of faith

So i have YET to post about the trip, but this is something on my mind at the moment. I am going to start a bible group with classmates adn i know nothing about leading. It is something a few of the dentists from Guyana suggested to me to do, and Im gonna do it. One of them said they think I would be great and would be perfect to keep the path going. So with that, I think I will. But really? I feel like i am the LAST person that should be a leader. Idk. I feel like I dont know enough about the bible, or i have my own stuggles in keeping strong with faith. Well, Im gonna give it a try. God is with me in all I do. I pray that through me, i can find & share His words.

Salt and Thirst

God is awesome. Its crazy. So my previous post triggered thoughts.

I dont know about you, but when I eat popcorn, a bag of chips, or something else that is really salty, I get really thirsty. So I will find something to quench the thirst.

By being the salt of the earth, we will always have this longing thirst for God. So no matter how many times we lose that salt, we never lose the thirst. So when I lose my flavor, my thirst kicks in. "But those who drink the water that I will give them will never become thirsty again. In fact, the water I will give them will become in them a spring that gushes up to eternal life." John 4:14

I want to be salty. I want my thirst to be satisfied. And I need to remember its my job to drink the water, to be the salt of the earth, and to make people thirsty.

Salt is Good.

Salt. Something so simple, yet so crucial to life. We need it to function, to add flavor, as a preservative, to fade out ice.



Matthew 5:13 "You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing, but to be thrown out and trampled out underfoot by men."

These are powerful words. God is saying "we ARE salt." Salt-important to life, to preserve life. God wants us to preserve life. And its funny, when I first read the verse, I didnt quite get it. I mean, how can salt lose its flavor? But really, the salt doesnt lose its flavor, we lose its message. Can we function as salt as beleivers when we act the same as nonbeleivers? when we do that, were not "salt" anymore, not preserving life. we are promoting decay and losing the function of salt. Not having enough salt on ice or meat it wont function effectively. The ice wont melt or the meat will rot. So without saltiness, the salt will fail. "It is good for nothing....by men." Salt without its saltiness is useless, lacks purpose.

Do I live and function with saltiness?

I think I lose my saltiness here n there. Like many other Christians, I sometimes like the taste of the world, and act unsalty. I dilute the image of saltiness that God wants us to portray.

So, God is our salt and were supposed to be the salt on the earth and if we dont act salty, men will trample us?

We ARE salt. Not we SHOULD be salt. We ARE salt. So my thoughts tonight and for the past few days, what does it mean to be salty? How can I be more salty?

worry

Matthew 6:25-33 I read this verse today, and it hit home.

Its true. Why do I worry? Why am I of so little faith? Song coming to mind is one that played in my car today...

Your Love is stong: Jon Foreman

Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need
To live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive
The people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place
I look at the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is Your love is Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens
Is now advancing
Invade my heart
Invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure
Will you sell yourself
To buy the one you've found?

Your love is Your love is Your love is strong

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Your love is Your love is Your love is strong

Our God in heaven
Hallowed be
Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us wicked sinners
Lead us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons

"My spirit is willing...

"but my flesh is so weak..."

Couldnt be more true. So, wednesday at His House, I just started crying. We were singing/worship, adn the tears started to fall.

I'm emotionally lost adn dont know what I feel. Ive got a brick wall/door in my brain that can only open with a key, and its keeping my emotions hidden. I really dont know whats really going on in my head... But the emotions come out in times where I'm volunerable..

I've actually started a song/poem.

So there's two girls that I know from His House, Katie and Raquel. On wednesday, I leaned on them. I barely know them. I actually let myself melt down a bit-and it felt good to have someone to talk to.

I hate this feeling. And I DONT know how to escape. I hate feeling weak, lost, and confused.