Prayer

Instead of saying, "I'll pray for you." Im trying to do it right then and there. Saying, "Hey God, I pray you help Chelsi's grandma find strength to pull through this illness." I found a few people give me a weird look when I did it today, but thats ok. Why wait when I'm alone with God. I can only pray to Him again. Why not let people see how easy prayer is, how anyone can do it?

I've never been good with speaking out loud when it comes to prayer, so this challenge is going to be good for me. Majority of my prayers and conversations with Him is spent in writing in a journal. Public speaking is a weakness of mine, but i love writing. Prayer in general is a weakness of mine, something I want to get better at. There is no right or wrong way, but I do know, I need to praise Him and look to Him more.

i love music.

Emotive unstable.
You're like an unwinding cable car.
Listening for voices, but it's the choices that make us who we are.
Go your own way.
Even seasons have changed.
Just burn those new leaves over.
So self-absorbed, you've seemed to ignore the prayers that have already come about.

This is the correlation of salvation and love.
Don't drop your arms.
I'll guard your heart.
With quiet words I'll lead you in.

La, la, la, la, la, la, laLa, la, la, la, la, la, la

Backing away from the problem of pain, youve never had a home
You've been hiding in shadows for so very long
Don't you believe that you've been deceived?
That you're no better than...The hair in your eyes, it never disguised what you're really thinking of.

This is the correlation of salvation and love.
Don't drop your arms.
I'll guard your heart.
With quiet words I'll lead you in.



This song gives me the chills. Its reminding me, reasurring me to never give up. I will always find my way back. I love the power of music that it has in our souls.

Grace marked my heart. With quiet words He guides us, He the light that takes us out of dark

Valentines Day

"Single awareness day" one of my friends claim today as. Haha. I was laughing with her in agreement. But really when you think about it...its not really so much a "couple" thing. Its about the people you love in your life.

I have soo many amazing people in my life. Each one has left an imprint on my heart, and I will never be the same. Love. What an amazing emotion.

Today when I got back from work at 1, I came home to a suprise :) My roommate Tammy decorated my door and room with hearts. I felt so loved. I'm pretty much the only single one in the house, and she was saying "I didnt want you to feel alone" awww :) I couldnt feel more blessed.

I could NOT live without people. And I could NOT live without the people in my life. I am sooo thankful. I honestly cant even explain, or put it into words. Thank you God, for giving us friends.


"The greatest love a person can have for his friends is to give his life for them." - John 15:13

Always a child

I love people. I love challenges. I love deep questions, questions that make you think, and think. I love how I have people in my life who have faith in me, challenge me, and love me.

I love my brother, hes amazing. He asked me online yesterday how I think God see's me. And I responded, "MYoungin03 (12:17:25 AM): as a child. whos not afraid to admit when wrong. and hopefully as a selfless person who puts others before myself." I am a child, I have this passion, this thirst for more knowledge wanting to know it all. But I think I can be independant, an adult, but know Im definitly not. I continue to make mistakes, drift away, etc. and I guess I will always be a child. its quite frustrating really...

Is this the right kind of relationship? I mean it makes sense because He is my father, but is it wrong to always be making mistakes, to drift apart? Maybe this is because Im reminded I always need Him, always is there, and Hes the only way??

But I know all this. Yet time and time again I try to be this independant person and forget to lean on God. Why is it when Ive fallen and scrapped my knee do I cry to my father asking for help or forgiveness? And always "Daddy look at me" when I;m showing off my gold star? But like a child, i ask, "why Daddy, why?" and there arent always answers.

facing giants

A good friend of mine Matt chatted with me online briefly a few days ago and its kinda been nagging at me in the back of my mind...He asked a simple question, "real quick..what is your favorite two stories, one from the old testiment and the other from the new testiment." It took me a minute to think of my favorite from the old testiment, but i couldnt think of a favorite of the new because im so overwhelmed by Jesus. He was instantly able to say His two favorites, but I really had to think of mine. And that bothers me.

It made me realize...I need to be more familiar with the Bible....

This simple question is something I cant stop pondering and want to look closely at, starting with my fav from the old testiment.

My favorite story from the old testiment was the Dave and Goliath. I love how God has the power to overcome the hugest of tasks in someone so unlikely, so small. I love how nobody beleived in David. David had SO much faith in God, and totally saw in God;s perspective while everyone cowered. He also didnt wear any armor..he just used the talents God gave him and worked a miracle through God.

Through Him, He makes the impossible possible. He gives us all the gifts, the talents we need, we just need to trust and have faith in Him.

Thinking about the story, one I love but has been forgotten for some time, really pops more questions...am I using my talents for the good? Do I trust God is going to fight with me and for me when I face my giants? Am I looking at my impossible situations or "giant" in God's perspective?

"...sometimes, you trip and fall..build a mountain out of something small..." After Edmund

I really need to start looking in the eyes of God...seeing myself the way He sees me, rather than the lack of faith I have in myself. Stop making moutains outta something small, face my giants with faith God will pull me through. its amazing too that this is where this post went...not quite in a direction i imagined it to go. aparently i havent thought of my fav. story in a while and im glad ive touched on it again.

cant waiiit

In exactly 4 weeks, I will be in South America. I cannot wait. Im so excited for the opportunity God has given me! I look forward to making a difference in people's lives and growing spirtually and clinically!!! :)

Yesterday, we went down to grand rapids and packed up all the dental equipment, gauze, instruments, bibs, local anesthesia stuff, disinfectants, toothbrushes, sealent materails, etc etc. So far we have 22 suitcases!! Packing up all the stuff was a HUGE reality check. I really am doing this! Its getting REAL! Cant wait!

Muddy water

Jesus is the living water and is the only one who can satisfy all our longings. I was created with a longing, a thirst in my life, that nothing on earth can satisfy.

I cant help but think of the Samaritan woman in John 4:7-15. Unclean, an outcast. Jesus is incredible. The woman knows how unclean, such an outcast she is, and pretty much is asking Him if he was so thirsty that He was willing be made unclean. But Jesus pretty much says its not of His thirst but because of ours.

If I really trust God, together we draw up water and its clean and blessed. But when I bring in other things to satisfy my thirst, its muddy water. When i seek other things, my life is muddy water.

I keep drudging up the muddy water. Right now I question myself, am I looking to anything but Jesus to fulfill me and make me feel whole and satisfied? I think I might be...

This thirst I have, I cannot be satisified. The only way I will satisfy this thirst is to rely on Christ. Only through Him, can I truely be satisfied.

The song that comes to mind...The River by Chris Tomlin.

When I was held up in chains
The river was free
When I was covered in stains
The river was clean
When I was losing my way
The river found me
I can see the river
I can feel the river
I'm letting go of all I hold onto
Let it wash away
When we were broken inside
The river was love
When we were thirsty and dry
You were more than enough
When we were drowning in lies
The river saved us
I'm dancing in the river
And I'll be here forever
I'm letting go of everything but You
Carry me away
Carry me away...