Fastball "Out of my head"

I love music. It can be interperted in so many different ways, kinda when your feeling a certain emotion. I love having my itunes on shuffle. Today, the song "Out of my head" played. As I listened to it, I origionally thought it was about a guy/girl relationship. But then, I played it again.

I think in a weird way it can be kinda viewed towards motivation/lack of. In the song, the person has no idea where hes going, hows he's getting there, or what he wants (drunk behind the wheel of prosperity.) You can be all talk.You can be this amazing person on paper, but do you actually go out and do it? "dont matter what i say only what i do"..."Hes waiting for an invitation,"

Really, its him talking about himself.. "that he never meant to do bad things to you" (himself), and that hes sad for not trying harder. But really its only himself that will get him what and where he wants to go.

so maybe this song was purposely played for me. that i need to not be sad and "drunk behind the wheel". However life may roll, give it a spin. I many not be driving exactly where i want to be, but I need to not be "drunk behind the wheel" and not miss out on life and what possibilities may come from it. The wheel may take you somewhere, but its what I do with whats on the way. When im on this road, i need to "not be so blind" because there might be many possibilities I could be missing. Its not what people say, and "forget what i say, and care about what i do."

Its time i spoke up that i am sad, and i need to wake up and care about what i do...care about what i do now. I am not going to be so "blind" and "drunk behind the wheel" and finally wake up and find those invitations.

For lyrics

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/f/fastball/out+of+my+head_20053162.html

psalm 91

So I had to read psalm 91 again.

Maybe I dont really understand or really trust Him. Maybe I want assurance that He will always be there for me, and this fear Im not going to make it through. I think this shows I need to keep building this relationship with Him. But how? How do I learn to trust him?

In my quiet time with God, i battle so many distractions; anxiety, fear for example. Why am I having such a hard time hearing him?

JAMES 1 : 2-3 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."


God, help me find this joy...cuz right now im having a hard time even smiling...and God You know thats not me.

I can finally start seeing the end of the tunnel. But Ive encountered a rather large pothole and have busted a tire that will yet again take time to fix.

Its funny how things can seem to be heading in the right direction and the right place, but God takes you on a different route. The route that always seems to be patchy, rough and difficult.

Why does my car always seem to be the one that breaks down? The car that gets stuck in the mud, falls apart, crashes, loses peices, falls off road, finds potholes, etc ect. I find it SO frustrating how difficult, how hard I try to get where I am going and others pass by with ease. and I hate how SO many people take advantage. O well at least i know when i set road flares or place the orange triangle by my car, i have family and friends and a God to keep me from getting run over and to tow my car...

God I know theres a reason for this delay. But how many more delays, setbacks, roadblocks.. am i going to be able to handle? Driving really sucks. I know your taking the wheel on our journey, but I pray that I overcome another setback and I pray for strength to keep on truckin'.

why?

Why God...why?

I find myself asking Him this alot this year. And yet again today, I find myself asking Him Why? God has a plan, and I know He does. But sometimes, I just gotta ask why.

I am super excited to be done with college, to finally call myself a dental hygienist, and know i have accomplished a dream so many told me wasnt possible.

But graduation has this bittersweet taste on my tongue.

Its sad knowing I wont see so many of the people I had shared my life with for the past 2 years again... 56 girls and 1 guy. I know i will keep in touch with those I have come close with, but it still isnt the same. I have never been good with goodbyes and I hate the idea of it and being so far away from people I have grown to love. Holly, Sarah, Sleek, Meliss, Ash, Amy, Tammy, Stac, Allison, Heather, Anissa, Heather O, etc etc ect the list could go on... I know they have helped shape who I am. But I am looking forward to future, and the friendships that stick and grow--the new friendships that develop and the friends I already have and love.

The future's scary. And i know i couldnt do it without the people in my life..God truely has blessed me with the best gifts ever.

Im looking forward to living with a few of my friends this summer off hagadorn. :) I think its a great start for the next chapter of my life. I couldnt be more excited. Its great to know that even though my life is changing, crazy, unknown, and is in His hands, I have people will always stand by my side and tell me it will be ok and love me regardless of the outcomes of my life.

Call upon 911..

I really like sometimes just opening the bible and seeing where it takes me. Tonight it just so happened to be Psalm 91, and I really like this Psalm.. Its now going to be my 911 call (91.1) because he is my savior and I NEED to remember HE WILL SAVE me, and is the ONLY one who can. These are my thoughts..

• My God is my protector-by noonday, night, and day=24hrs/day. He is always watching and NOTHING will change that.
• No matter what evil heads our way(arrows, pestilence,destruction,plague) we are safe in the shadow of the Almighty.
• I can take on “lions and cobras” because I know God will keep me safe.

Either God will save me from a scary something or I will safely make it through. God says I shouldn't fear because we cannot fall...for He cannot fail.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. "

Next time I have a hit a hard patch, I'm gonna remember God is my savior, and remember to look on 911---psalm 91:1.

smiles

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I dont think my smile could get any bigger. I feel so blessed. This weekend I graduated-and its an amazing feeling. I know i couldnt have done it without the support of my family, friends and my faith in God.

I set goals since i was a little kid to graduate college, and now that i have...its like now what?! I couldnt be more scared for what lies ahead...but its nice to know that God has a plan for me. I know He wont fail or forsake me. I feel open and ready for wherever He takes me. My biggest prayer is that through my hands we save smile after smile throughout the world.

praise God

PRAISE GOD. I passed pt 1 of being an RDH!!!!! :-)

9 lives?

Ive been told I was like a cat, with 9 lives. Where I shouldnt be here, but i know i am here for a purpose. 9 lives or not, God has me here on this earth for a reason, and He will continue to keep me here until I fulfil it.

Yesterday, I went home with my friend Holly to go kayaking down the Rouge River (connects to Grd. River.) The river was waaay overflowed and moving fast, but it was ok. so we were kyaking down, it was beautiful. Gods work is incredible. Johanna and i were a little preoccupied with a soccer ball we found floating and i was taking pictures, and my boat was turned around.

the river was moving fast, and Jo finally paid attention to where our kayaks were going....straight for a fallen tree. so ME being ME...i grabbed my paddles to try to turn around, and I got them caught in a tree and fell. I was headed STRAIGHT for the fallen tree without a paddle.

Holly said my face was priceless. I smashed right into this tree. i put my hands out first, and the water pooled into my kayak. I was forced underwater, and the river was moving really fast. I didnt even have time to think. I gulped water, swam as fast as I could and reached for teh branches coming off the tree i ran into. I grabbed a hold of the branches, and pulled myself to the shore. When i finally got to shore and gathered exactly what happened, i laughed. Johanna I guess reached for my paddles and ran into the tree as well and fell in. I could see Holly down a ways with my kayak and she was perfectly fine. Jo couldnt see me, and i laughed. My sweatpants were pulled off from teh rivers force. I looked in the river adn go "o there goes my sweatpants!" Jo was like WHAT! Do u have any pants on?! And we just died in laugher. We couldnt beleive we just made it through that!

My shoes were gone, bye bye camera, my sweatpants, and sunglasses, but I MADE IT! We were idiots and didnt have lifejackets, which is very scary and very stupid.

Its amazing how God protects us. I could have easily drowned and gotten carried down the river. Especially since we werent wearing lifejackets. It was crazy watching my sweatpants flow down the river..that could have been me. It makes me feel lucky to know I have a God who protects me, and feel sad for those who dont know or beleive God. I wish I could understand why people dont beleive he's real-especially when He saves us in times we need Him most.

It was a fun, crazy adventure and I look forward to more crazy adventures, adn know God will be with me the entire time.

New beginnings.

I want it. I desire it. I am trying to develop and start a better relationship with God. I dont want to be like most people, missing the most important thing in life-not knowing God. God desires a relationship with all of us. But we are the ones who choose to have the relationship.

I choose. The school year may be ending, but something new, something unknown is starting...

God, its about time I start putting you first... I know You will not fail or forsake me.